Feelings Scales

Getting in touch with our feelings.

So many children we work with have difficulty managing their big feelings, for a myriad of reasons: they may have sensory challenges which make it difficult to cope with or register stimuli in their environment; they may have anxiety or demand-avoidance which can cause stress when faced with new or challenging situations; they may have difficulty coping with social interactions due to ASD; they may have difficulty communicating their needs and feelings due to speech and language difficulties; they may have difficulty understanding their emotions due to neurodivergence. The list goes on. 

Difficulties with emotional regulation (or managing bigger feelings) can lead to some challenging behaviours. Some children cannot yet understand their own emotions and have difficulty recognising when they are or are becoming dysregulated. This may be because they struggle to listen to or understand their body’s signals or perhaps they do not yet have the tools to be able to manage their low-level dysregulation. Either way, if a child does not give the body and brain what it needs when they are becoming dysregulated or overwhelmed, this will quickly escalate to the point where they are highly dysregulated and unable to control their actions. And this can be difficult for both the child and the adults working with them to manage. 

A “Feelings Scale” can be a really simple but highly useful visual tool for helping both a child and those working with them to understand their regulation needs and know how to manage them. It can be stuck up on the fridge at home or on the wall at school.

The scale works a little like a traffic light system, identifying different levels of regulation: at the bottom you have the low level of regulation and the feelings that come with this; sadness, tiredness, boredom, feeling sick or hurt. Next, you have the “just right” level of regulation, which allows us to concentrate, play with our friends, be happy and proud of ourselves and calm (this is the level most of us are at for most of the day). We then move up to our low-level dysregulation feelings; this may be frustration, worry, excitement or confusion. Finally, at the top of the scale, we have our high level of dysregulation and the very big feelings which usually bring the big behaviours; fury, overwhelm, terror, elation to name a few. 

It can be fun to incorporate the child’s interests into making your scale - you may like to use different emojis, animals or cartoon characters to identify the different levels of regulation. Similarly, work with the child to talk through which colours they may identify with each level. The scale should be individual to them.

When putting together our scale, we need to first get curious about how the child may be feeling depending on what their body is doing and watch for signs that they are beginning to struggle with the environment, situation or demand placed upon them - for some children, this can be more obvious than others; being tearful or withdrawn, having a red face, becoming hot and sweaty, becoming fidgety or needing to move more, increasing their speaking volume or breathing more heavily. For others, the signs may be more subtle; clenching their muscles, holding their breath, removing eye contact, becoming more lethargic and withdrawn. An OT or SALT can help with this process, as we are highly experienced in picking up these clues!

Once we have made a list of the low-level signs of dysregulation specific to the child, we can then try out lots of different strategies to see how these affect the child’s level of regulation and to see what helps to calm them; does moving to a quiet area help? How about cuddling a soft toy or stretching a stretchy toy? Perhaps wearing ear defenders or having a big hug from a trusted adult can help, or sitting on a wobble cushion, or getting up and having a movement break. Again, an OT can help with this and can provide you with lots of strategies and ideas which may help your child with their regulation.

By working out what helps, you slowly build up a sensory “tool box” for your child, which can be used at home and school to help them stay well-regulated throughout the day. At first, the child may need guidance from an adult to use the scale to identify how they are feeling and to help them work out what they can do to help, but over time many children will become more independent at managing their own regulation needs.

So why don’t you have a go at making your own “Feelings scale” with your child - see below for a couple of templates that may inspire you! And please get in touch if you need any help - rosie@therapyspot.co.uk (OT) or becca@therapyspot.co.uk (SALT).